I didn't really know who I was, and frankly- I was sure I was not even worth knowing. If someone would have asked to describe myself, though no one ever would've, I wouldn't be able to because I thought I was a nothing and how can one describe nothingness? Oh sure I could tell them my name- Adaeze Blanchard- Adaeze means king's daughter, but then my parents had no idea I would think of myself as a nobody when I was born let alone king's daughter. I used to think I was useless and that no one loved me, failing to realize that I had a family who took care of me everyday. I used to think my parents were useless, setting rules all the time. There was even a phase where I thought I had been unanimously shunned because my parents were hated. I had gone down as deep as you can and still haven't recovered entirely from what I now know to be post traumatic stress disorder in the form of depression. It happened after my sister died, and perhaps my parents were a little overprotective over there only child but I thought they were my jailers.
I didn't realize that my teachers were trying to help in school and that Mary was trying to reach out to me. I was blinded by a low self-esteem and thought these people were mocking at me and thinking of me as mental. They were really only trying to help me get past a difficult phase of my life. It started with survivor's guilt. As I saw people crying over her, tears refused to come to my eyes. I felt guilty for not missing her even though I was traumatic because of the loss. But then, in my dark tunnel, emerged a speck of light. My mom became sick seeing me distressed and suddenly I knew I had to help. It wasn't easy for me to realize this because I hated my parents. But from somewhere inside me came out the instinct everyone has to save family. It was my very last reserve of respect for my mom but it took me out of depression. I realized the world hadn't shunned me, I had shunned the world, including my mom. I still didn't know my teachers or Mary thought me sane but slowly, I realized that my parents at least loved me. They did everything for my benefit even if they didn't understand me at times. Then I tried to reconnect with Mary, even though I didn't understand her. And as our bond grew stronger and stronger, I rose out of my depression and started to feel as if life was worth living. I realized my teachers intentions and am sitting in my favorite teacher's room right now. I go to her regularly for counselling and have emerged a strong person. She asked me to write this so that girls around the world would be inspired. Inspiration and motivation leads people out of depression. I was inspired by my parents and motivated to help my mom. But now, I am inspired by the way the people around me kept faith in me and were by my side even on my darkest days.
Please let me know how you liked it as it is the first time have written a fictitious article on a topic like this. It is meant to inspire. Even though it hasn't happened in reality to me, things like this happen to people all over the world and believe me they need all the help they can get.
The girl is still afraid of going back into depression and has dark memories of those days, but she resists dwelling on them and has mastered her fears.In fact, it is good she is afraid for it reminds her of what can happen and keeps her on her feet, standing up for who she is.
''Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.'' - Mark Twain.
Smiti.
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